I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
