She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize