I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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