Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
