You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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