I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
