Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
