I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
