I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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