Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize