Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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