Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
