i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
