Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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