sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize