Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
