capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
