Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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