at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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