haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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