im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
