Need sex. Gaining weight.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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