Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Be still, my beating vagina.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
