you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
