I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
