White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
