I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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