Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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