69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
