Ambien. No doubt about it.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
A bitchslap is in order.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
