I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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