After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
