I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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