..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
