oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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