$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize