I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
