I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
