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do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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