Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i believe in u and ur pee
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
