i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
