can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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