Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
