Porn is love you can see.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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