some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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