Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
