wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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