It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
