Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
