6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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