Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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