I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
