Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
