Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
there's paper in my vomit.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
