Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
