That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
