nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
