So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
