I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
