Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
