the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
