I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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