At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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