just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
