Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize